Are you currently crushing on a Japanese man?
Japanese men are usually shy and do not tell their opinions much and you might wonder what on earth he is thinking about you.
You also could wonder whether the relationship with him could be suited and what problems you may face when dating him.
In this article, I cover the following matters.
- Japanese boyfriend
- Problems of Japanese boyfriend
- The positive part of Japanese boyfriends
After reading it, I hope you will understand the overall tendency of a Japanese man as a boyfriend and know if he is suited for you or not.
Hi, I am Hiro from Tokyo and I was born and raised here and well understand the overall Japanese way of thinking.
Japanese boyfriend
You could wonder what it is like to have a Japanese boyfriend.
Japanese people tend not to tell their opinions well and rather listen to what other people say and this is because of Japanese people’s tendency to a collectivistic culture. (understanding situations is more important rather than expressing themselves in Japan), so you might find their first impression seems serious and quiet.
Problems of Japanese boyfriend
I’d like to share problems that typical Japanese boyfriends have toward their partners.
They don’t make a move
Compared with other countries men, Japanese men tend not to make a move even if they want to.
This could be a cultural reason for Japanese people, and understanding situations is more important than expressing their opinions, so Japanese people don’t get used to telling their love to other people and making a move. (especially being scared to be rejected)
You might possibly feel upset or frustrated if they don’t approach you but this could be because of the cultural reasons behind it, so if you really want to let him make a move, you possibly need to assist him a little bit to let him be courageous depending on situations.
You don’t understand his true intention
When communicating with your Japanese boyfriend, you sometimes don’t know his true intention.
For example, when you suggest going to a certain restaurant or destination together, he usually makes a positive response even though he is not willing to and you possibly get confused to think what on earth his true idea is.
Japanese people are rather scared of damaging their relationships by refusing directly other people’s suggestions.
You possibly don’t need to trust what he says on the surface, but rather need to see his facial expression.
They don’t show affection outside
Japanese people never show affection to each other such as hugging or kissing, etc. outside.
This is also a part of the culture and basically, no couples do such things outside or in public and it is sometimes thought to be impolite in Japan, so if your Japanese boyfriend refuses to kiss in public, please don’t blame him.
Not good at housework
Japanese men tend not to be good at housework and the majority of them are not willing to do it because when they were children, they saw their mothers busily do all the housework and saw their fathers work hard and lay on a sofa at home and didn’t help housework much.
This is a typical example of a traditional Japanese family style, with hardworking men outside and hardworking women inside the home.
They grew up in that environment and some of them may misunderstand not to be in charge of housework at home.
Of course, this is a stereotypical way of seeing Japanese men and there are also a lot of Japanese men who love doing housework.
They don’t send text messages often
If you date a Japanese boy, you might find that Japanese people don’t frequently send text messages to you.
Especially while working, sending text messages is not regarded as an appropriate matter in Japan, so they less response to you unless there is an urgent matter.
Between couples, we Japanese don’t exchange text messages frequently and some of them consider it a little burden.
The positive part of Japanese boyfriends
I told you the negative parts of Japanese boyfriends and now you might feel disappointed about them, but please see there are also positive parts about them.
Be industrious
Japanese men tend to be industrious and they have the responsibility of working hard at a company and not quitting their job easily.
It is commonly said that being graduated from school/university, only 30% of Japanese quit their first entering company within 3 years and the majority of them continue working for a long period in one company.
Although coming home late every day with a lot of overtime work and having less time to take care of family or do housework, every month/year stable income could be received if you end up getting married to them.
Sensitively understand your emotion
If you date a Japanese man, you may find how sensitive they are to a lot of situations.
For example, they easily notice that you are upset or angry about something by seeing your facial expression and making an appropriate reaction or behaviour such as feeling sorry without saying anything.
Some of you could feel comfortable understanding your emotion without saying anything and if you like such a kind of sensitive man, a Japanese boyfriend could be the best.
Treat lunch/dinner if you are younger
If you date a Japanese man who is older (several years or more) than you and he is likely to treat lunch/dinner.
This is part of the Japanese culture that the older generation treats lunch/dinner or at least pays more than you.
Of course, there are people who like splitting bills in half, regardless of the age gap, but most Japanese people have this way of thinking.
Conclusion
In this article, I introduced the problem of Japanese boyfriends but please note that what I described was just a tendency and there should be a lot of irregular cases depending on each person’s characteristics.
Thank you for reading this article till the end.
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